Wednesday, May 13, 2009

#2 You either get busy living, or you get busy dying

...Continuation from May 7th...

So maybe one thing we have to learn out of this current economic market is that we ought to focus on what we have in life, as opposed to focusing on scarcity and fear. They always say "keep up the positive attitude", right? Well, I think we need to realize that we truly have to belief in ourselves, our own ability to start over - let me say it again: you need to count on yourself being able to start over.

I am a firm believer in the "art of language", in form of a thought when having a self-dialogue with yourself, or in form of a spoken word when talking to others, as your word or thought sets up the experience that follows.

So in the form of a thought, if I think of myself as small and unimportant, then the produced results will be small and unimportant. If I can perceive myself as an individual with infinite potential and possibilities, then I’m actually giving the outcome an opportunity to rise into something big. My husband is a great example, as he is not afraid of thinking big, or let's say "outside of the box". After all, when we operate from our comfort zone, or from "inside the box", we can only see what we know, which in turn keeps on reaffirming our old personality, hence producing the same unsatisfying external results. Now that, my dear, might not be very efficient when facing conditions of change, I'm sure you can see that :-).

So in my husband's case, he actually thrives on not knowing. He goes out there, thinking way beyond the limits of his box, explores it, and then simply goes after it. Just like that. I guess, after all we do create more of what we focus on - so what is it for you, scarcity or possibilities? You may wanna ponder on this one for a bit, especially if your external conditions are forcing you to change.

In form of a spoken word, the language you choose when communicating to someone else sets up the interrelated dynamic that follows between the two of you. Basically it sets up the whole experience that follows, it conditions the impact you leave behind, the impression you made, the fight you may have stirred up in pursuit of your ego’s emotional survival and cognitive appraisal it so desperately seeks. The vocabulary you choose, the language you use, the tone of voice you apply, all put together is the catalyst for what follows. What comes out of your mouth and how it sounds is in your control, there’s no way to argue that one, so you may as well start taking responsibility for how your conversations are turning.

Many times we end up in nonsense arguments for truly stupid reasons, followed by unnecessary comments that are totally irrelevant to the conversation. That in turn then deviates away from what initiated the original argument. So there you have it, a vicious cycle of endless arguments, totally unhealthy to both parties. So I think you can see how the words you use, and the tone of your voice dictates the experience that follows. It’s about learning how to think of the effects of our behavior and words on the other. I actually find this fascinating! Do you realize how much control you can have when interacting with others? Don't get any wrong ideas here! You better use it authentically and with integrity to genuinely create an atmosphere of joy and health!

Okay, I could go on and on and on, as I love talking/writing about this stuff. But I'm a little concerned about your attention span, so, this shall be continued soon....

P.S. I'm a foreigner here, so, if my grammar and sentences seem a little off, I am so totally excused!!!!!

2 comments:

  1. As I read along I started getting happier allready. So your words actually had an effect on me and made me be more allert. Especially arround kids it's so important and so hard to watch your communication because they pick it up so fast. But also I find it verry hard to not fall back into arguing and endless sensless discussions. What do you do when you feel treaded unfair, nervous and about to explode???

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  2. Thanks for your feedback and your question. I'm going to use your question as my topic in my next blogg, as my answer will go beyond just one or two sentences. Stay tuned :-)

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